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For some people, abuse begins with physical violence; for others it may be psychological. However, in most cases, the different types of abuse combine and escalate over time and become increasingly dangerous.
Often, the person experiencing abuse is unable to articulate exactly what is happening to them. This is why it is important to understand what is meant by domestic abuse and what you can do to find the right support and help.
For further information on the different forms of abuse:
Domestic abuse affects all social classes, cultural backgrounds and types of relationship - heterosexual couples, same-sex couples and other LGBTQI+ relationships.
Every relationship is different, but most of the time abuse takes the form of a four-phase cycle that’s easy to identify once you know the signs. It can be difficult to break this increasingly vicious circle without outside support. Breaking the silence and isolation by opening up about your situation is an important step towards getting the help and support you need.
At this stage it may be difficult for the person being abused to express their feelings and any differences of opinion with their partner/abuser. Perhaps the abuser wants to be in control of everything in the relationship and isn’t open to negotiation. All disagreements become a source of frustration and tension grows. The victim may already see some signs of abuse but they hope it’s temporary and that the situation will soon improve.
Posez votre questionThe abuser lashes out, either to vent their anger or to resolve the conflict in their favour. The level of violence wasn’t intense in Phase 01, but now, in Phase 02, the abuser is capable of anything: shouting, swearing, threatening, intimidating, slapping, hitting, and other forms of violence. The victim feels trapped, frightened and powerless. Often the only way to stop the abuse is to comply with the abuser's demands.
Posez votre questionIn this Phase, the abuser often minimises their actions and the consequences of their behaviour. They justify the abuse by blaming external problems such as stress, tiredness or unemployment. They rationalise their behaviour by saying that they were provoked, and the victim ends up doubting themselves, feeling guilty and believing it is up to them to change in order to stop the abuse.
Posez votre questionWhen the crisis is over, the abuser apologises and promises never to do it again. They are afraid of losing their partner and will do anything to be forgiven. The victim feels a sense of hope. They want to believe in the abuser’s promises of change and they focus on putting the pain behind them by accepting the apologies and acts of kindness. This is known as the honeymoon period and the couple stays together.
Posez votre questionThe spiral of abuse will begin again but it will cycle through the different phases faster and faster and the attacks will become more severe. If nothing is done, the abuse can lead to life-threatening, irreversible injuries and the risk of homicide is very real.
Posez votre questionAbuse leaves people feeling afraid, guilty, ashamed, and isolated. These feeling are completely normal- it’s the situation that’s not.
As a result of this ongoing emotional turmoil, people can experience serious health and mental wellbeing problems. These include: stress, anxiety, depression, insomnia, headaches, chronic fatigue, and more. Abuse and violence undermine a person’s wellbeing and negatively affect their health.
The person being abused lives their life in a state of constant high alert. They’re always worrying about the threat of abuse as it can happen at any time, for any reason. They are always guessing their partner's intentions and trying to defuse any tension. The victim no longer has the courage to freely express their wishes and opinions because they’re worried about being abused. They adjust to their partner's moods and avoid anything that could put them at risk or trigger the abuser.
Violence affects everyone in the relationship, including the abuser. Each act of abuse further distances them from their loved ones and also from themselves. There are also significant legal and financial risks.
The abuser may feel a real and painful sense of guilt. Unable to break the spiral of violence, their self-esteem is affected which can then continue the cycle of abuse.
When children hear their parents’ shouting and distress, or witness scenes of abuse, it can be very frightening. It creates a climate of uncertainty. Although they may not express it openly, children are affected and traumatised by what their parents are going through and need to be protected.
Small children, who are often carried by their parents, are also at risk of being hit in the event of physical abuse.
Domestic abuse never leaves children unscathed. They are distressed by the unpredictable and inexplicable violent outbursts. The weight of the "family secret" is expressed through sadness, emotional distress, anxiety, and feelings of insecurity.
Domestic abuse is against the law. Most acts of domestic abuse are punishable under criminal law which protects the physical, mental, and sexual integrity of all individuals.
The Swiss Criminal Code prohibits acts of violence, including those committed within a relationship - married, partnered or common-law, and regardless of sexual orientation. The Code defines the different types of offences and the penalties for offenders.
In 2004, the Swiss Criminal Code was amended to step up the fight against domestic abuse. Acts of abuse committed between people who are married, in a registered partnership or in a relationship were classified as crimes that are automatically prosecuted if they are committed by one of the following:
- a partner during their marriage or within the first year following a divorce, whether or not they live in the same household;
- a partner in a registered partnership or within one year of its legal dissolution, whether or not they live in the same household;
- a partner in a homosexual or heterosexual relationship living in the same household as the victim, during the period of cohabitation or within one year of separation.
These crimes are automatically prosecuted as soon as they are brought to the attention of the authorities (police or public prosecutor), even if the victim does not file a complaint. Anyone can report a situation of abuse to the police or the public prosecutor: the victim, a close relative, a neighbour, a professional (if the victim has waived confidentiality).
These crimes are automatically prosecuted:
- Using violence or threats to intimidate one's partner, for example by forbidding them from going out alone, visiting relatives or making phone calls.
- Abducting or confining one's partner, for example by locking them in the house or a room.
- Making serious threats, such as threatening to kill or beat one's partner, or to take their children away.
- Repeated physical violence that leaves no visible marks, such as slapping or pulling hair.
- Physical violence that leaves visible marks, such as burns, bruises, broken noses or ribs, other fractures. One episode is sufficient.
- Serious physical violence resulting in life-threatening injury or irreversible harm including incapacity to work, disability, permanent mental illness, or serious disfigurement. One incident is sufficient.
- Failing to help the injured or endangered person, or preventing someone else from doing so.
- Endangering the life of one's partner, for example by pointing a loaded weapon at them or leaving them in an isolated place.
- Committing or attempting to commit homicide (e.g. strangulation).
- Forcing one's partner to watch pornography.
- Forcing or attempting to force one's partner to perform a sexual act.
- Rape or attempted rape.
- Forcing one's partner into prostitution.
These crimes can be prosecuted within a period of five to thirty years, depending on the seriousness of the offence. However, sometimes the passage of time can make it difficult to gather evidence.
- Insults
- Isolated acts of physical violence that do not leave visible marks, such as slapping or hair-pulling
- Abusive use of communications that cause alarm or distress
- Defamation
- Slander
- Damage to property, e.g. slashed tyres, broken windows, kicked in doors
- Trespassing
- Failure to pay child support
The victim has three months from the time of the incident to file a complaint.
In the event of a serious incident, the police can immediately evict the abuser from the family home.
The origins of domestic abuse lie within the individual, the family, the community, and society as a whole. It is the combination of different risk factors that explain the abuse rather than a single, fixed cause.
- Fragile identity and narcissistic wounds
- A history of abuse as either a victim or a witness
- Psychological or personality disorders
- A desire to dominate others
- Alcohol, drug and/or substance abuse. There is no causal link between alcohol and violence, but it may increase the likelihood of violence
- A family history of abuse
- Unequal power within the relationship
- Emotional dependency leading to a desire to control others
- Poor communication skills and a refusal to negotiate
- Customs and traditions that allow the use of violence
- Isolation or lack of social inclusion
- Poverty and marginalisation
- Historically imbalanced gender power relations that continue to disadvantage women and gender minorities
- Economic, social and sexual exploitation of women
- A bias towards the protection of individual privacy and the failure of the state to address the problem of domestic abuse
- The use of violence to resolve conflicts in society
- The prevalence and trivialisation of violence in the media
- The legacy of repressive, authoritarian and/or sexist education systems
